Saturday, December 20, 2008


Things sometimes feel so unreal, surreal. whatever you call it. when people stop trusting you, believing you, and you cant even complain. the one thing that made you smile doesn't love anymore. but then, what happens when YOU stop reacting? YOU stop believing? is it just a reclusion? or just a phase that'll pass?
i dunno. it seems pretty hollow. kamath told me this yesterday " only hollow people know themselves very well" and i guess, im pretty sure, i know myself inside out by know.
im missing someone very very much. wish you were here.

but nehow, the point is, its you who is the problem and then all you can do is run away from things like usual. but that wouldnt give you a solution, so you come back, apologize but still feel the same way.

a very vague post i know, but then i guess i had to write it.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


When I see you at a distance..
with the brightness shining on you
I try to reach you with bare hands...
and you blow away in a puff!
I wonder if it was you
coming home with a feeling all new...
I believe you miss me
I've seen that picture of me
why dont you turn real?
I guess that wasnt our deal...
Just turn back for once
I'll capture that instance
just turn back for once...
I'll live that instance.

Yes, it did rain.

Sitting on the bench
all I cared about was the rain.
remembering school days..
coming home all drenched
unaware of this pain,
awaiting the downpour...
remembering his touch that explained his every move
I tried to prove
that it was true
all true..
feeling blue..
I knew that touch..
emotions on bargain
and it started raining again.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Post-Delhi begins.

Ah. now that I'm back WITH a delhi cold and nearly coming back alive (okay, exaggeration) but yet still having my own assumptions and beliefs coming very very true I now will pronounce a series of blogs about the entire trip. tada. **sequential music playing**
so yes, a lot happened, like literally.
and there is a lot to tell, like literally.
I came back like 4-5 days ago but yet couldn't bring myself to write 'coz of awful happenings **awkward glance**
But nehow, now that I'm all cool and my arsenal fan's head doesnt hurt nemore, also my daughter is completely fine, while her supposed "pappa" was always okay, I think I can write to the fullest now.

So here it goes, I feel like elaborating the pre-delhi stuff right now and then giving a follow up on the post-delhi stuff.
my arsenal fan gave me good headlines for my blogs which I really have forgotten, so if you read this just gimme a call okay? :)

two days before we leave.

"why in god's name are you staring at a void?"
"I dunno, its just there"
"Have you gone nuts? I'm leaving in two days and I haven't seen you in an entire week"
"oh, you're leaving? where did so much time go?"
"you'd better meet me tomorrow"
"i'll try"

This was my convo with singhania as she was completely lost in her post break-up dilemma.
We both hadn't realised that I had to leave and that it needed clothes and toothbrush and wierd warm clothes and packing. So I ask my sis about what to carry for the trip and she goes beserk realising that there are just two days left and I have nothing that I should have.
Plus with all the terrorists and thier bloody ways made it quite impossible to predict whether we were going or not. So she neway makes a list and then makes me spend my money to get all of it (I'm not complaining) and then does "check" on whatever I have and a "cross" on whatever I don't which included bandaids by the way that gave loads of help on the trip. Now see you wonder what's with the "check" and "cross", just a tiny remark on my sister's everything-should-be-planned state. :P (do not strangle me in my sleep. please, pretty please! )

So yeah, everything's set the morning I have to leave, 'coz well I'm lazy and I DO not like packing at all. Singhania does not show up so I go to meet her, she lies at home and comes to andheri station and gets caught by the TC, who calls up at her place and all that. So I still dunno why she had to lie even though she was coming to meet me, prolly I'm banned at her place now. nehow.
So yeah, I do meet her. The goodbyes are done. I go all the way to f!@#$@# marine lines to meet the awasthi but he is unavailable. :( he makes it up by coming ONto the train the next day, scaring the shit outta me. arora helped a lot with all my blues. :)

But yeah neway, I wished to leave from here, 'coz I wanted a break. And it was all coz of my beloved daughter that it happened. God bless the telephone and kiwi and nidhi ma'am.

So yeah. That's pretty much the before story with all of my crappy loneliness shit and wanting to get out of bombay for "reasons" and then convincing myself to go on the trip 'coz well I really doubted the company I was gona have with all my ppl, but it turned out elsewise and I had complete character change that made me laugh on kamath's wierdest jokes, actually take pics for kiwi, and admire the slimness of "whatever"! :P

so yeah, 9 more blogs coming up. I blog for each day that I spent with all the variety of ppl with all the variety of experiences.

kamath I think this might interest you:

this is a pic of tree explaining who itself is. :)

a peekaboo of good photos coming up:

the mochachino place!!

yeh tumhari meri baatein..
hamesha yuhi chalti rahe..
Baaton Se Nikalti Rahe Nayi Baaat..
Phir Wahin
Baathein Leke Geet Koi... Hum Likhe..
yeh tumhari meri baatein..